Funny or in poor taste?

Have you ever noticed what makes you laugh?  Sometimes it's the cute things that children say, or a pet chasing it's tail, or a gurgling baby's coos.  But sometimes, and I'd wager far more than you'd like to admit, laughter comes from situations that make you uncomfortable.

BUT...NEVER EVER JOKE ABOUT SOMETHING THAT IS POOR TASTE!  If your topic is a cancer patient don't belittle their experience. Don't make fun of the downtrodden in a way that is done in poor taste.  Make your humor uplifting, not destructive.  There's a fine line.  DON'T CROSS IT or you will lose readers!

My all time favorite show to watch with my husband is the Office (the American version).  Don't ask me why...it's just something we did together.  And to be honest, it took me a while to get into the show.  Why?  Two words. Michael Scott.  Could that man get any more agonizing to watch?

Foot in mouth situations, awkward dialogue and moments of "oh my gosh you're not really going to do that, are you?" left me squirming in my seat.  I laughed, but it was almost painful.  And now...guess who I dearly miss from the show?  Michael!  He became my favorite character?  Why?

Humor in the face of unbearably difficult situations help us to cope with tension.  It's like that in life.  A comment made to break to the ice.  Sarcasm during an awkward silence.  Laughter to ease the pain of walking around the office all day with your skirt tucked into your underwear.  (This has never happened to me, but I've seen it!)

We laugh to relieve tension.  We laugh to sooth our nerves.  We laugh because we need that comic release.  Life is full of humerous things...and your book shouldn't be any different.

But how do you create humor in your book?  First off, let me say that you can laugh even in the middle of a horror novel.  Laughter is not concentrated to only comedic novels. 

Think about what makes you laugh.  Is it a witty joke?  A sarcastic comment?  A bumbling clown that tumbles into a pit of cream?  Whatever your humor style might be...be aware that your readers will all be different.  Try to incorporate several types.

My favorite, thanks to my English husband, is sarcasm.  I live with it and I've grown to love it.  I enjoy characters that are witty, full of snap sarcastic comments and willing to take as much as they dish out.  But that's just me.

So in my new teen fantasy novel, Forbidden, I created a brother and sister duo that are full of witty quips.  The sister, Sadie, is full of sarcasm and William powers right through them with his own snide comments.  I knew that my novel would be darker than anything I've written to date and I needed that comic relief mingled in.  Sadie's humerous remarks are her way of dealing with the revelation that there is an entire world of dark and dangerous beings that they never knew existed.  It's her self defense mechanism which makes her feel more realistic.

I watched a fantastic movie over the weeked with my family, Dolphin Tale, and there was one character that had my son nearly in tears with laughter.  A pelican.  That annoying bird was a menace to anyone who entered that hospital.  Which proves that your humor doesn't have to come from a human. 

Humor can spread among several characters, each taking a different form.  It's your choice how and when you create it, but in my opinion a little humor keeps the plot flowing, especially if I'm reading a horror novel and I'm too afraid to turn off my light to go to sleep!

Don't think you're funny?  That's ok...you might not be.  But that doesn't mean your character can't be.  Go to the mall and listen.  You'll hear all kinds of interesting conversations there.  Go online, research jokes.  Or simply call someone for a chat.  You might be funnier than you realize you are.

Creating a character that isn't afraid to laugh at themselves makes them more likeable and memorable.  Let them have some of your own insecurities and then laugh about it.  Create situations that will naturally involve humor.  Let it flow, and get out of the way! 

Before you publish your novel let some HONEST friends and family review your book.  Ask them what they liked and didn't, and why.  They may tell you that you're the funniest person to walk the face of the earth, or they may tell you that your jokes are wooden and unbearable.  Either way, you need their feedback.

And as always my favorite piece of advice to anyone wanting to become an author...write how you speak.  Read it out loud.  If it doesn't flow, cut it!

book

Book 2: Arotas Teaser

SPOILER ALERT!!!!

Arotas

The Arotas Trilogy

Prologue

“We'll only have one chance to get the girl, so make every shot count.”

Heads bobbed in the shadows, faces grim with fierce determination.  Each man knew the risks.  The consequences of failing their mission went beyond death.  Humanity’s survival depended on their success.

“The last one just left, sir.”

Hawk like eyes narrowed in on the shadow emerging from the tunnel.  Already they’d watched the monster escape, fleeing across the hills to the security of his castle.  Another fled towards the road, his blood staining the snow crimson.  Then two more emerged, a young girl leaning heavily on a boy as they headed up to the house. 

Finally the last appeared.   His head hung with a sorrow that Silas understood.  Death was never easy. 

“Let’s move,” Silas whispered, emerging from the darkened trees. 

They moved stealthily across the snow, unconcerned with covering their tracks in the storm.  Icy winds pierced through their cloaks, but they did not slow.  The snow did not matter.  The frost nipping at their toes did not matter.  Only the boy.

As they approached the tunnel entrance, Silas held up his hand.  The small group halted.  “Ready your darts.  She will be fast.  Do not underestimate her.”

Their feet whispered against the dirt floor, shuffling forward single file.  Silas prayed that Roseline would not hear their beating hearts over the howling winds funneling through the passage.  Perhaps luck would be on their side this night.

A dim light appeared at the end of the tunnel.  The group huddled closer, alert and cautious.  No one knew what they were walking into.  Obviously there had been a battle.  The blood stained snow and labored limping of the girl had been testimony to that. 

The tunnel widened out at the end.  Flickering candle light illuminated the war torn room.  Blood splattered the walls and floor, staining the ancient stones.  A body lay nearby, it’s head cut cleanly away.  Another body lay slain on the floor near the center of the room. 

Congealing blood oozed slowly from the man’s fatal wound.  Silas averted his eyes.  He did not fear death, but he was not fool enough to think himself unaffected by its presence.

As one the group moved forward, eyes scanning for a surprise attack that never came.  The room was eerily quiet.  Silas glanced back at his men, seeing his own doubt mirrored on their faces.  Something was very wrong.

And then it happened.  Screaming, blood curdling howls erupted through the room, echoed off the vaulted ceiling, curling their way up the winding staircase. 

Silas held up his hand in warning.  Something was moving in the small cell up ahead.  His eyes struggled to adjust to the dim light.  He crouched low and moved forward, as lithe as a lion.

He paused, cocking his head to the side.  A new sound approached his ear.  Crying.

Hurrying forward, Silas’ eye widened with horror.  What he saw before him made his blood run cold.  They were too late!

“Now!” he shouted, leaping into the cell, his dart already spiraling through the air.

Roseline turned, her surprise shifting to rage.  She threw herself sideways, dodging the dart at the last second.  It embedded in the wall’s mortar.

Shouts rose around the room as Silas’ brothers spilled through the open cell door.  Roseline snarled, her fingers clawing at her sides as she weaved in an out of the rain of darts. 

“Got her!” a robed figure crowed.  His hood fell away, revealing a face that still showed signs of baby fat.  The boy couldn’t have been more than seventeen years old!

Roseline wavered, her hand slowly rising to the dart sticking out of her neck.  Her aqua eyes glowed brightly as she gnashed her teeth at her attackers.  Silas stood his ground, but noted from the corner of his eye that most of his men struggled to remain in close proximity with her.

“We don’t want to hurt you.  We just want the boy.”

A feral growl erupted from Roseline’s lips as she lunged for the man closest to her.  Her hands wound around his neck as she yanked him over her shoulder.  She felt his spine snap in two as he passed over her head.  He fell to the ground in a broken pile of bones, lifeless.

Shouts of rage spurned Silas to action.  He raised his hands, roaring his command to hold the line.  But Odin was too far gone to obey.  The sight of his younger blood-brother’s death pushed him beyond reason.

Odin sprang up into the air, his leg poised to knock Roseline to the ground.  She waited, her brain calculating his immanent attack.  The instant his foot connected with her chest, Roseline’s hands wrapped around his knee and twisted, snapping his leg as she thrust him to the ground. 

Silas’ eyes could barely keep up with her blurred movements.  The instant he realized her intentions, Silas knew his warning would come too late.  Roseline slammed Odin’s dart launcher into his neck, releasing the toxic dart into his artery.  His legs jerked, foam bubbling from his lips as his eyes widened with horror.  Odin knew his fate but was helpless to change it. 

A single dart sailed through the air, slamming into Roseline’s heart.  She stared down in disbelief as her legs waivered, her vision fading to shadow as she slumped next to Gabriel’s writhing body.  Her hand reached for him, but fell limply away.

"Well done."  The sour faced man nearby patted Silas on the back.  The leader shook the man off as he approached Roseline cautiously.  Gabriel's screams continued to pierce the air, masking Roseline's labored breathing. Her glazed eyes stared up at him, marking his approach but unable to do anything to stop him.

“I’m truly sorry for this.  I never wanted to hurt you.”  Roseline snarled.

Silas's lip curled with amusement.  He stretched out his hand towards Gabriel but wrenched it back as Roseline dug her fingernails into the back of his hand.  "Don't touch him."

“I promise he will not be harmed.”

Roseline's eyes rolled back into her head as she succumbed to the toxins attacking her body.  Her lips struggled to form her final words.

“He’s...different.”

Silas crouched next to Roseline, puzzling over her words.  How much did she really know about the boy?  Why had she been able to fight so long after the first dart hit her?  And how much did she know about the part that she would play in helping Gabriel fulfilling the prophecy?  

“Grab the boy,” Silas ordered as he rose to his feet.  “Leave the girl.  Destroy the evidence.”

“You’re just going to leave her?” The sour faced man didn't look pleased.  “She killed two of our brothers.”

Silas nodded sadly.  “It was unavoidable.  She was just protecting the man she loves.”

The man turned a critical eye on Roseline.  “Does she know?”

Silas shrugged.  “Only time will tell.  Let’s go.  We need to get Gabriel home before he wakes.”

The teenage boy approached, staring curiously down at Gabriel.  His cries faded as a tranquilizer dart pierced his neck.  His muscles relaxed as he fell into a deep sleep.  A strange longing crossed the young boy’s face.  “I don’t understand Silas.  Why did she turn Gabriel?  I thought she loved him…”

Patting the boy on his shoulder, Silas led him out of the cell.  “Perhaps this was her ultimate act of love.”

book

FORBIDDEN RELEASE!

After countless hours of muffled swearing and cramping fingers, Forbidden is finally available as a softback copy.  You can purchase it at Createspace https://www.createspace.com/3723015 for only $12.99 or it's available on Amazon and Smashwords as an ebook for $0.99

I am super excited to see where Forbidden will take me.  I've had great reviews so far and I know things will only get better. 

Thanks to everyone who has supported me!  It's been an amazing journey and one that I would gladly do all over again.  This is just the beginning for me.  I've got huge plans for 2012 so check back from time to time to see what I'm working on.

I'm hoping to have the sequel to Forbidden available within the next month.  I will be adding a teaser for those of you who have already read and loved Forbidden.  If you haven't..."spoiler alert!"

Thanks everyone!  You're love and support are what keeps me going!

book

Bloodrose

Bloodrose by Andrea Cremer

I don’t know about the rest of you, but this is one book release I have been looking forward to! 

I adored Nightshade, overall enjoyed Wolfsbane and now I’m super excited to read Bloodrose.  It was released yesterday and it’s all I can do to wait for my library to buy it.  Seriously, buy the book already! Haha

Early this morning I checked Amazon and they was already a review and it was a really good one.  Hence my mounting anticipation! 

I’m heading to Walmart later, the one place in the world that I can’t seem to leave without dropping $100 no matter how small an item I go in to buy, and I might just have to take a wander through the book section.  But if I do that the urge to buy Bloodrose will be too great.

Sigh.  What a dilemma!

Do any of you have a problem with this or is it just me?

(I told you I’m a book fanatic!)

Are you tense yet?

How to create tension in your book

Let’s be honest for a moment.  If I pick up a book and the author can’t pull me in within the first two chapters I’m probably gonna set that book right back down and move on.  Why?  Because I’m secretly an adrenaline addict.  Not in the sense of wanting to jump out of a plane (shudder) or climb Mt. Everest (no way!) but in the sense that I love when a book gets my heart rate up.

Nothing makes me happier as a reader than to jump straight into the action.  That’s probably a result of watching way too many action movies.  At least I’m gonna blame it on that!  So why shouldn’t books be the same way?

When you start a scene with an intense car chase, hand to hand combat, discovering a murder, or even a stolen kiss in a coat closet, you set the mood for the book.  Don’t bore me with the details.  Those can come later.

I like to think of it like using a whip.  No, I’m not into that but it’s a good analogy.  When you strike a whip you leave a sudden impact but it lingers long afterward.  You want your initial scene to be thrilling enough that your readers will think about it long after they set the book down.

As a stay at home mom I spend much of my time playing with my son and doing housework.  So needless to say I’ve got time to think.  And if my mind isn’t wrapping around some new book idea to write then more than likely I’m pondering a book that I’m reading.  This is exactly what you want.

So…how do you create that tension?

First off you need a killer first line.  Writing one sentence may not seem like a difficult thing to do, but when you want those few words to pack a punch it can be difficult.  Think about your scene.  Think what sort of tension you are trying to portray and hit it.

Some examples right off the top of my head:

·        “Dang it, I thought I already killed you.”

·        I knew high school was going to ruin my entire life.

·        “Why Miss Charleston, you are a bit of a tart.”

·        The sweet aroma of blood was too strong to pull away from.

·        I unfurled my wings and took to the air.

Ok.  Obviously some of them are better than others…but I just thought of five in about a minute so give me some slack!

With each one you can get a hint of what the book is about.  Fighting to the death, teenage angst, saucy romance, and two fantasy openers.  All of them could be good setups for your initial tension.

Now…you’ve got your first liner.  If not, keep thinking about it.  Next, think about where you want the scene to be set.  Unlike movies, books don’t have the luxury of adding the creepy music when your character is creeping down a hall, so you’ve got to do that with words. 

Using the above example you could describe the shadows in the hallway that mare your vision.  How the aged floorboards under you creak loudly.  Tell about the mice that scurry out of your path.  Describe the dried blood stains on the yellowing wall paper.  Perhaps add in some kind of music that floats down the hallway from the only door standing slightly ajar. 

Discuss rapid breathing, racing pulse, beads of sweat forming on the brow.  Make your hands calmly or your throat scratchy.  Describe the agonizingly long walk down the hall and the slow push to open the door. 

Now at this point, readers will expect one of two things to happen.  Either the attacker will leap as soon as the door shifts or you will be forced to search the room, creating even more anticipation.  Either one will work just fine. 

But if you want to be different…think outside the box.  Maybe your attacker is lurking in the shadows of the hall and attacks from behind.  Or maybe he is wedged near the ceiling above and drips blood onto your shoulder, alerting his presence.  Or he could be waiting out on the ledge (he’s crazy, right?) and bursts through the window.  Or…he’s not even there. 

Those are all of the fun bits that you get to choose for your story.  But it’s not the “where’s the boogie man?” that creates the tension per se.  It’s the lead up to finding him. 

Think of your own book.  How can you, in just a couple pages, hook your reader but not give away the entire book?  Dangle that carrot until they are salivating and then rip it away.  Kinda gross to think about but that’s exactly what authors do.  If you are struggling to figure out how to create your own first chapter, try looking at some of your favorite books for some ideas.     

Once you’ve completed your first chapter, you need to keep upping the ante.  Create roadblocks in every chapter that your main character must overcome.  Add in an overbearing parent who watches you like hawk, an ex-boyfriend that won’t take no for an answer, create a new enemy, or throw a wrench into the murder mystery (a literal wrench would be kinda cool!). 

You get the picture.  Each chapter needs to build upon the last.  But don’t send your readers into cardiac arrest.  Along with tension needs to come release.  A kiss, meeting one goal, discovering a clue, even a simple moment of eye contact can ease the tension just enough.

As soon as you’ve released the tension, grip back on and start wringing tighter and tighter.  Depending on whether or not your book is a stand alone or going to be part of a series, you need to think about an ending.  Do you want it to be explosive and leave your readers begging for more or sum it all up for a satisfying completion?

For me, even when I’m writing a trilogy, I want there to be action all the way up to the end and then a moderate release.  It’s the teaser for the next book that ups the tension again.

Whatever you choose to do, plan for the tension.  It’s a thread that needs to weave throughout your entire novel.

Good luck and most of all…have fun with it!  If you’re not having fun writing, what’s the point?

book

Too chatty or awkward silence?

How to create dialogue that flows?

Isn’t this a question all writers struggle with at some point in their career?  Are you worried that your protagonist sounds too wooden?  Me too.  I’ve been there, done that.

So how do we overcome those awkward moments?

My best advice is to write how you speak.  To heck with your auto correct.  Overlook all of those annoying green squiggly lines in your manuscript.  If you’re computer editor is happy then ya ain’t talkin’ right. 

Speak your sentence out loud once you’ve written it.  If you struggle to sound it out then so will your readers. 

Less is definitely more.  Get to the point without taking a dozen pitstops along the way.  Don’t word dribble. 

All dialogue needs to push your plot forward.  This is a hard one to recognize sometimes when you are writing.  That’s what re-writes and edits are for.  Cut out the fluff.

One tip that I’ve read, and I’m not sure that I entirely agree with, is to use “he/she said” instead of “he screamed” or “he laughed.”  Personally I prefer to not read “he said,” “he said,” “he said,” over and over again.  I say do both.  Add a smattering of each and see how it flows.

When you are writing your dialogue think about where your characters are.  Are they sitting in a rowdy bar?  Alone in a car?  Racing through traffic?  Lazing on the back deck with a cool lemonade in their hands?  Remember body language.  Where are they positioned?  What is their posture?  Are they doing anything or just sitting?  All of these things are key to creating the right tone for their dialogue.

If you are on the run with a sniper capturing you in his target then you’re probably gonna be pretty frantic in how you speak.  But you wouldn’t write the same way if you had a couple whispering in a library.  Be aware of the content you’ve already created.  Make it logical. 

Avoid adding dialects.  This can sometimes be confusing to your readers.  If you really must have one for the essence of your book then try to limit it’s content.

Hit the mall.  What better place to hear a WIDE variety of language than in a packed mall during the holiday season? 

Avoid crazy punctuations.  Have you ever been on Facebook and saw people write something like this:  “Went to see ….movie.  It was awesome!!!!!!!!”  Yep.  I’ve seen it to.  Or how about the ?!!!  Honestly, what does that mean? 

When you’re writing a novel, use action to portray an exclamation.  Don’t make our eyes go cross trying to count the !!!!!

If you still struggle to write dialogue that feels natural you might want to try using some sort of recording device.  Perhaps a program on your computer that interprets your spoken word into written word.  Or purchase a hand held recorder and carry it with you. 

Creating dialogue that flows doesn’t always come over night.  Practice, let your inner editor shut off and just chat to the mirror.  I know, it’s probably gonna feel weird, but it does help.

Happy writing!

book

Virtual Shelf Space

Self-publishing an e-book is completely different than going the traditional route when you consider the amount of shelf space available to you.

Let me explain why.  When you go into your local library or a bookstore, you will see most authors with only a couple books at best. Unless you browse a Stephen King, Danielle Steele or several other big name authors, you simply won’t find the space being used for the lesser known authors.  Such a shame but that’s the way the industry tends to work.  Push what you know will sell.

To be honest, I can’t blame them.  The world revolves around making money and for a traditional publisher to stand a chance at making money they need to go with the sure thing.  Getting “found” as a new author these days is nearly impossible.  Just having a great book isn’t enough.  You have to have an excellent book.  And how many of us can fit into those few select spots even when we have an excellent book?

The beauty of e-books is that you, as the author, get to decide what you want to write and when.  AND there is no limit to how many books you can publish.  Your shelf space in limited only by your own mind.  If you think you can write ten short stories this year…have at it.  If you want to publish three books…go for it!

With e-books the sky truly is the limit.  But with that being said, the same standards still need to apply to self-published work.  Do the grueling edits over and over again, have other people help you find typos and grammar issues.  Pay to have your book professionally edited.  Outline.  Review.  Re-write.   

Always remember, and I’m sure it goes without saying but you’d be surprised how many times I find this, that you need to put your best work forward.  Writing styles change, you improve as a writer with each book that you publish.  Looking back, I see things that I could change with my first novel, Defiance Rising.  Sure I could have tightened that bit or expanded on this bit but I vowed not to rewrite it.  I want my readers to learn from my own growth as a writer.  If all readers ever see are completely polished books then how can they learn from other people’s experience?

My goal, as it has been from the very beginning of my journey, is to write what I love, entertain and encourage others to follow their dreams.  I know what it’s like to not feel good enough, knowledgeable enough or simply think that could only happen to other people.  Not true.  Each day that I wake up to write I remind myself of why I need to write.  I shove those negative thoughts aside and press on.

And with that being said, as I stated in an earlier post, I have set some mighty big goals for myself for 2012.  1 novella and 5 full size books is HUGE for anyone.  I won’t set specific dates.  I will continue to let my muse guide me.  But my biggest promise is that even though I have plenty of room on my virtual shelf, I will only release to you what I feel is the best book I can possibly write.

So what will you do with your empty shelf space?  Thinking about putting something on it for 2012?  If so I’d love to hear about it!

book